Is It Wine? Apple Juice? No, It's...

... the last sip of this morning's coffee dumped into this afternoon's club soda with lime. If you've never tried it, do! And let me know about any variations you do as well. I'm thinking maybe just a couple drops of chocolate syrup... or maple... or agave nectar... all those extras I can't afford... the list goes on.

While we're yacking about not being able to afford extras, check out this article about SOLE food (Slow, Organic, Local, Ethical) by Michelle Gienow of Baltimore's Citypaper. Apparently she kept three bellies full of SOLE for a month on a food stamp budget. Major kudos!

Just updated my permanent links to include all my nominees for the Kreativ Blogger Award. Thanks again for your chickenless blogging, ladies.

Will post the results of my wheat germ project later in the day. Stay tuned!

Beat the eggs. Whip the cream. Show no mercy.

New Orlexeek Red Beans and Rice With Oikos and Chives

Inspired by The Ungourmet's recent Enchilada Casserole, I thought something similar might soothe my sick throat. However, I didn't have any tortillas or meat in the house.

Okay, I thought. No big deal. I'll use red beans and rice. New Orleans is the first culture that jumps to mind, but this combo appears plenty in Mexican cooking as well.

Then I thought, I really like those vinegar-based hot sauces. Do they use those a whole lot in Mexico?

Then I thought, aw man, I don't have any sour cream for garnish. Better use Oikos.

Thus New Orlexeek Red Beans and Rice was born.

New Orlexeek Red Beans and Rice

Casserole Ingredients

1 1/2 c. cooked rice

1 1/2 c. cooked red beans

1 c. shredded cheddar cheese

1 batch Spicy Garlic Tomato Puree (see below)

1/4 c. orange juice

1/4 c. water

1 tsp. hot sauce

1 Tbsp. butter

Generous pinch salt

A few Tbsp. Oikos and a couple tsp. chopped fresh chives to garnish

Spicy Garlic Tomato Puree Ingredients

1 1/2 c. diced tomatoes, canned/packaged (if you don't can your own or buy local, Pomi is the next best thing)

3 cloves garlic, crushed

1 Tbsp. vinegar

1/2 tsp. dried cumin

1/4 tsp. salt

1/4 tsp. pepper

Generous pinch cayenne

Directions

Combine all the Spicy Garlic Tomato Puree ingredients in a small saucepan and let simmer over medium-low heat for 40 minutes. If you want it broken down further, place it in a food processor and pulse a few times after cooking. Reserve the used pan. Meanwhile, preheat the oven to 375.

Grease or spray a shallow 9" X 6" gratin dish (or any similarly-sized ovenproof vessel). Spread about half the rice in a thin layer over the bottom:

Next, layer over half the red beans:

Follow with half the Tomato Puree:

Then half the cheese (note that I didn't have quite a full cup of cheddar on hand, so the picture looks a little more sparse in the cheese department than I would have preferred):

Continue in this fashion, creating another layer of each type. Make sure you end with a cheese layer.

Combine the orange juice, water, hot sauce, butter, and pinch salt in the pan you used to make the tomato puree. Heat through, stirring, until the butter has melted. Pour this carefully into a measuring cup or something else with a spout (I used a tea kettle... Hello? Martini glasses for cookie cutters?) Tilt the spout so that liquid runs gently down the sides of the dish, adding a little every couple inches, without disturbing the cheese on top. When you see liquid about to consume your cheese, quit pouring.

Bake at 375 for 30 minutes. Wait ten minutes for it to cool after removing it from the oven. Divide the casserole into four sections, turn out onto plates, and garnish each with a dollop of Oikos and a sprinkle of chives. Serves 4 as a main course.

Tomorrow is the deadline for my Wheat Germ project, so watch this space and prepare to be blown away by the wheat germy goodness of it all... in more ways than one, considering the current state of my throat, stomach, and sinuses.

A very happy Monday to all. Hope you're not spending it in Dayquil-induced zombification like I am. Or if you are- which is likely this time of year- that you've managed to score some delicious comfort food!

Beat the eggs. Whip the cream. Show no mercy.

End-of-the-Week Recap: A Glitch in the Culinary Matrix, Virtual-Saturday Crepes, Oatmeal Clafouti, and Two Kreativ Blogger Awards(!!!!)

The rest of my compulsory vegetarian week was a disaster. Broccoli rabe is really, really freaking bitter if you don't treat it right. So bitter that I'm afraid I might have given my husband and myself irreversible tannic poisoning.

And check out this spoon! My New Orlasian Red Beans and Rice came out so thick that I pulled a Neo.

The only as-yet-unmentioned meal I cooked last week that I'm proud of was the Nutella Crepes With Honey and Sliced Nanners pictured below, and it wasn't my recipe. I followed Jane Brody's for Basic Crepes near-verbatim. You can find it on page 502 of Jane Brody's Good Food Book. Or not, since I've taken the liberty of reprinting it for you here.

Basic Crepes

from Jane Brody's Good Food Book

Ingredients

1 egg

Pinch salt (she says to omit it if you're making sweet crepes; of course I was like, "Whatevs!")

1/2 c. all-purpose flour

5/8 c. milk

1 tsp. sugar (omit for savory crepes)

1/4 tsp. vanilla (ditto)

2 Tbsp. melted butter, divided

Directions

Beat everything except 1 Tbsp. of butter together in a mixing bowl. Heat a small pan with sloping sides over medium-low to medium heat (not quite high enough to burn your butter). Dab some of the reserved butter on the pan and spread it around. Pour enough crepe batter in to barely cover the bottom of the pan and tilt the pan around to even it out. When you start to see bubbles in the batter, lift the edge with a spatula every ten seconds or so to see if the bottom is sufficiently browned. When it is, flip the crepe and cook about 15 seconds on the other side. Remove it from the pan and plate it (or set it on wax paper if storing). Lather, rinse, repeat. Makes 8-9 small crepes. I spread Nutella on mine, folded them in quarters, and served with sliced nanners and a drizzle of holly honey.

Do you have a favorite crepe filling or topping? Feel free to share!

Thursday was Virtual Saturday for my husband, since he took a four-day weekend. You may have noticed that I skipped Chickenless Cook yet again this week due to some out-of-townage. We were at my mom's place eating this:

Oatmeal clafouti. I am not a huge clafouti fan; most traditional recipes are too bland for my taste. These however were excellent topped with plain yogurt, applesauce, and maple syrup. My mom and I will tweak this recipe and probably share it with you later. Thanks for hosting, Chickenless Chick's Mom!

Last and certainly not least, Janis at Bite Me New England and Robin at Vegetable Matter have each bestowed upon me the unspeakable honor of a Kreativ Blogger Award! These are The Chickenless Kitchen's first awards ever. I am mega-excited and flattered to no end. Thanks, Janis and Robin!

Now, lest the Award Police come in the night and take them away from me, I have to tell you seven interesting things about myself and nominate seven other blogs for the award. Here goes.

Seven Interesting Things About The Chickenless Chick

1) The cookbook that originally hooked me was Almost Vegetarian by Diana Shaw... even though I eat red meat.

2) My favorite restaurant growing up was Chili's.

3) My favorite restaurants now are locally owned and operated. Both happen to be Mexican, though El Coqui also serves Puerto Rican food and Da Kine Diego's can more accurately be described as Cal-Mex.

4) When I was three or so, all I ate without complaint were Kraft Singles and tomatoes. If I had to pick only two foods to eat for the rest of my life, they would still be cheese and tomatoes... though I think a Kraft Single would turn me green at this point.

5) My favorite drink is gin and club soda with lime and Angostura bitters... yes, I know, I am a ninety-year-old man.

6) You know how most people either have rhythm or don't? I have it sometimes.

7) I hardly ever open my mouth in group social settings. One through five are probably all news to my closest friends.

My Nominees (in Alphabetical Order)

1) Color Hungry

2) Furey and the Feast

3) Sweet Water

4) Tasty Eats at Home

5) Tasty Trix

6) The Gourmet Goddess

7) The Ungourmet

I am a writer, so chickenless writing was my foremost consideration in choosing my nominees. Anyone can post a recipe, but these ladies (the fact that they are all ladies is sheer coincidence btw) make us feel like we're right there in the kitchen with them. Each is honest and bold, but each has her own special voice. I am delighted to follow all their blogs. Thanks to them for brightening my days!

Beat the eggs. Whip the cream. Show no mercy.

Spicy Ginger Brownies

I was trying to get through this without cropping any photos because I like them all the same size. But I realized the photos in my Jim Victor feature were all different sizes, so what the hell. I also realized you would be much more receptive if I didn't showcase my messy table.

What you do want me to showcase is this brownie. And then you want me to pack it up and mail it to you. And then you want to devour it. And then, as a token of gratitude, you want to send me your first-born child. Because no other form of payment will do. Oh no, not in this case.

See? I didn't even remember to take a picture first, I was so eager to cut into them:

Okay, I'm exaggerating. They could be better. But they have more potential than any other dessert I've ever invented, so I am pleased with myself on that front. I love the texture and the combination of flavors.

Specific ways in which they might be improved:

1) Toppings!! Doesn't that little guy wook so wonewy up there on his wittle napkin? Who's a wonewy bwownie? Yes, you are! Yes, you are! I was thinking candied ginger or some kind of frosting... Ideas? Lay 'em on me.

2) Not quite spicy enough for my taste. I bite into one, and for a couple seconds it tantalizes me with the idea of biting back. Then it decides, "Nah, never mind. I'm just a regular ol' brownie after all." So I wasn't chickenless enough with the spices. Need to pull an Elzar and kick it up a notch. If you duplicate this at home, I would recommend increasing the ratio of ginger and/or cayenne.

3) Spiced goodies are well-loved for their robust, "Here I am!"-sung-out-in-a-deep-baritone-voice flavor. This dessert was borderline, practically a tenor. Which is okay, just not what a guest might expect when you tell them you're serving Spicy Ginger Something-or-Other. In the future, I may sub dark brown sugar or molasses for some of the sweeteners. (Yes, I know... molasses and chocolate? Phone a priest!)

Spicy Ginger Brownies

Ingredients

1 1/2 sticks unsalted butter (wait for it... wait for it...)

2/3 c. light brown sugar

2/3 c. granulated sugar

1/4 c. holly honey

2 eggs

3 Tbsp. water

1 1/3 c. all-purpose flour

3/4 c. cocoa powder

1/2 tsp. salt (...aw yeah, there it is!)

1/2 tsp. baking powder

1/4 tsp. cinnamon

1/4 tsp. ground ginger

1/8 tsp. ground cloves

1/8 tsp. nutmeg

1/8 tsp. dried cayenne pepper

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350.

Beat the butter, sugars, honey, eggs, and water together with an electric mixer.

In a separate bowl, stir the remaining ingredients together. Add this to the wet ingredients and beat again.

Pour batter into a greased 13"X9" pan. Bake 20-25 minutes, depending on whether you like your brownies fudgey or cakey. Makes 2 dozen.

Then all you have to do is lick your beaters, and you're done! Ta-da!

I adapted this recipe from one for "Chewy Cocoa Brownies" on the back of the Nestle cocoa powder box, though it's pretty unrecognizable at this point. In fact, this is the furthest I've ever successfully flown from the coop as far as baking goes. Think I am starting to get the hang of it (she says as her next attempt blows up the oven probably).

Hope everyone is having a great week!

Beat the eggs. Whip the cream. Show no mercy.

Baffling Ingredient: Wheat Germ

Now, before you go making a million comments like, "Put it in yogurt" or "Sprinkle it on your cereal..." Well, that's about it. Otherwise, I invite you to go nuts. Because I may toot my own horn about being some uber-creative kitchen diva, but I am really stumped when it comes to wheat germ.

Not to be outdone by an inanimate jar of food product (no matter how excellent a source of Vitamin E and Folic acid it may be), I will post at least one recipe containing wheat germ by Tuesday of next week... and it may be yours! Please feel free to email me or leave a link in the comments. If I end up using your recipe, I will of course credit you and provide a link to your site if you have one. I'm sure all fourteen of my followers will happily pay you a visit ;)

On the subject of having fourteen followers, if no one has a suggestion, I will come up with a Chickenless Chick Original Recipe. But I can't be held responsible if it turns your complexion green to read it. If it's gross, well then, you should have helped me out!

Beat the eggs. Whip the cream. Show no mercy.

Kicking Off a Compulsory Vegetarian Week: Lentil and Broccoli Rabe Salad with Honey-Orange Vinaigrette

All right, so it's not compulsory in the literal sense. No one is holding a gun to my head making me go vegetarian this week. But my husband and I agree that if we can't afford that "fancy" free-range, grain-fed meat, we don't want meat at all. It disturbs us to think of the cruelty that goes on in those factory situations.

In any case, there are plenty of fantastic dishes out there centered on eggs (yes, I still bought cage-free eggs... I'm hopeless! We're going to be kicked out and living under the 408 overpass in no time), cheese, beans, and/or legumes. Publix had one lonely bundle of broccoli rabe that needed a home, and since I'd never tried broccoli rabe, I snapped it up, thinking it would go great in a lentil salad I had planned.

Hooray! Success!

For those of you who have never tried it, broccoli rabe is like regular broccoli with a kick. Raw, it tastes bitter. But lightly steamed and then chilled in a sweet garlicky marinade, it adds a mild spice and enhanced green flavor that both my husband and I loved. Liz and Mary at Green Flamingo Organics are growing some as we speak, which is another reason I was curious to try it. Can't wait to get it from them and other local sources later this fall.

Lentil and Broccoli Rabe Salad with Honey-Orange Vinaigrette

Ingredients

Lentil and Broccoli Rabe Salad

1 c. steamed lentils

1 c. cooked brown rice (great use for leftover rice)

1 thick slice red onion, finely chopped or minced

2 carrots, finely chopped or minced

3 c. broccoli rabe, chopped

Honey-Orange Vinaigrette

1/3 c. olive oil

1 1/2 Tbsp. Balsamic vinegar

1 Tbsp. orange juice

2 tsp. holly honey

1 tsp. lemon juice

1 large or 2 small cloves garlic, crushed

1/2 tsp. salt

1/4 tsp. pepper

Directions

Steam the broccoli rabe until just tender (about three minutes in the microwave). Drain, allow to cool, then combine with the rest of the salad ingredients.

In a cup or bowl, add the salt to the vinegar and whisk until well-dissolved. Add the rest of the vinaigrette ingredients and whisk together.

Pour the vinaigrette over the salad ingredients and combine. Cover and refrigerate at least 4 hours to suck the bitterness out of the broccoli rabe and let the garlic do its thang. Serves 4 as a light main dish; not recommended as a an appetizer due to its strong palette-numbing flavor, but use your discretion.

This would also have been super-good with feta cheese and dried cranberries. As far as serving suggestions, my two cents' worth of advice is to pair it with something simple. My husband and I preceded it with hot chicken broth and fresh bread for a well-rounded, seasonally-appropriate meal.

As usual, if you try any variations at home, let me know how it turns out!

Beat the eggs. Whip the cream. Show no mercy.

What Do You Want on Your Pizza?

Even those of us with the best of intentions ("From now on, I will eat nothing but nutritious meals that I make myself with local, organic ingredients!") sometimes find ourselves in the position where a husband invites a buddy over to help him replace the radiator, and take-out pizza with beer seems the only acceptable compensation. More than a couple toppings can be expensive, though, so as you can see I jazzed my slice up with some arugula from my own fridge. Greens don't keep well for more than a week, so may as well use them while the using is good.

Do you ever put your own toppings on take-out pizza? Is this a sensible way to pinch pennies, or would you bother? And if you do it for culinary rather than monetary reasons, what is your favorite topping that run-of-the-mill pizza joints never seem to have?

Beat the eggs. Whip the cream. Show no mercy.