The Melting Pot Method

You may have heard of the Clean Out Your Fridge Method: Take all the ingredients you have that are on their last legs and dump them into an egg-based dish.

The Melting Pot Method is a little different. While it can have the side benefit of cleaning out your fridge, the primary focus is getting foods that you associate with varying cultures to jive. This does not necessarily mean you need exotic imported ingredients; for instance, the pineapple in this recipe that I chose to associate with Hawaiian culture was locally grown here in Florida.

What process can you use to employ the Melting Pot Method in your kitchen?

Step #1

Choose from the variety of existent egg-based dishes. These include quiches, omelettes, frittatas, tortillas, skillets/scrambles, souffles... the list goes on. For this recipe, I started with the idea of making my egg-based dish a tortilla, which is Spanish in origin.

Step #2

Pick another region and choose two ingredients that could be associated with that region's cuisine. They don't have to be exclusive; for instance, I could associate "eggplant and onions" with pretty much anywhere bordering the Mediterranean.

Step #3... Here's the trick:

After you've come up with two ingredients other than eggs and the culture they represent in your recipe, put a twist on one of them. I chose a pig-and-pineapple combo that I associate with Hawaiian cuisine; but for my pig, I used Genoa salami rather than the traditional spit-roasted pork or... well, Spam. Going back to the eggplant-and-onion idea, let's say you choose to associate that with Italy. But if you use scallions instead of white onions, suddenly it's no longer strictly Italian-influenced. Get the idea?

Step #4

Add a coupla-few more ingredients based on the cultures you already have. At this juncture I added potatoes and onions, both of which appear frequently in traditional Spanish tortillas; and Parmesan cheese (Italian).

Step #5

Think of two more cultures that you haven't incorporated so far. My next idea was to add extra eggs for a thicker layer, bringing to mind a crustless version of the French quiche even as I steadfastly refused to call it a crustless quiche. And finally I threw in some pepper jack cheese to honor the good old U.S. of A.

See? Nothing to it. All you need are some good free association skills and enough self-respect to stay your hand when you're about to come up with something school-cafeteria-esque.

The Chickenless Chick's Melting Pot Tortilla

Ingredients

5 eggs

1/3 c. pepper jack cheese, cubed

1/4 c. Parmesan cheese, grated

1/4 c. water

6 slices cold cut Genoa salami, shredded

1 Tbsp. olive oil

1/2 white onion, sliced thin

1 russet potato, sliced thin

1 tsp. dried thyme leaves

1/2 c. pineapple, chopped

1/2 c. fresh cilantro leaves, chopped

Salt 'n' pepper to taste

Instructions

Heat the oven to 375.

Beat the eggs, cheeses, water, and salami together in a large mixing bowl. Set aside.

Heat the oil in a saute pan over medium high. Add the onions and saute two minutes. Add the potatoes and thyme leaves. Saute until the potatoes are soft, but not falling apart.

Add the pineapple, cilantro, salt, and pepper to the pan. Saute one minute more.

Add the contents of the pan to the egg mixture and stir well to incorporate. Pour into a greased 9" pie tin.

Bake at 375 for thirty minutes or until barely browned on top. Serves 6.

Beat the eggs. Whip the cream. Show no mercy.

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Two Pies!

I told you about the Christmas presents I made. Now what about the people to whom I brought them?

My husband and I enjoyed a fun but picture-free Christmas Eve at my dad's in Vero Beach. My grandparents on that side are proper to the point where they leave the rum out of the jingle bell punch (everybody's jingle bell punch... not just theirs), and I didn't know how well snapping pictures at the table would go over. So my dad's famous crab au gratin casserole will have to be a story for another day. I exercised the eating muscles plenty and rested up the picture-taking muscles for Christmas Day at my mom's.

Visit her blog if you want to hear her whine about leaving the green beans in the microwave overnight. Stay if you want to hear me rave about what a porktastic, cosmotastic, pietastic meal we were treated to.

Stuffed pork loin for dinner, cosmopolitans with a secret ingredient (she knew I'd suffered through the previous evening booze-free!), and a two-pie breakfast for Boxing Day... how much more completely awesome does it get? TWO PIES, PEOPLE. Quiche and apple-cranberry. COUNT 'EM, TWO!!

Now, as far as what the pork loins were stuffed with... I see she hasn't put either recipe up on her blog. Luckily she gave me a copy of one. It appears to be from page 234 of the December 2009 edition of Cooking Light. The unfortunately punctuated title is, "Fruit and Walnut-Stuffed Pork Loin" [sic]. (Or am I old-fashioned for wanting to add that extra hyphen after the word "Fruit"? Tasty Trix? Copyranter? Someone help me out here.) The other one was stuffed with sun dried tomatoes and gorgonzola, and I'm not sure what else. She made it up herself though, so don't expect to find it anywhere else in the known universe. I'm sure if you pop over to her blog and ask real nice in the comments, she'll let you have the recipe.

Boxing Day was spent as it should be... catching up with old friends. This meant my diet consisted of leftovers and takeout. Nothing exciting.

The 27th was my husband's grandfather's birthday, so my mother-in-law pulled out all the stops and served both lobster tails and beef wellington.

I snapped a picture of my beef after it was cut as well, but standard dinner party lighting rendered my camera fairly useless. Which I'm sorry to report, because that beef wellington was TO DIE FOR. The color, texture... everything was perfect. Oh, well. Sometime when you run a food blog, you have to stop, take a deep breath, and remember that food is fleeting. With cooks like the ones in my family, there will be plenty more pictures to take!

Beat the eggs. Whip the cream. Show no mercy.

Christmas Presents

Another year of no money, another year of packaging cheap homemade foods up pretty and calling them gifts. This Christmas it was jam and cookies.

I had made jam before, but never canned it, and was excited to try. This recipe for Florida Citrus Marmalade (see below) was inspired by a recipe for Cranberry Orange Marmalade on page 188 of a Cooking Light holiday edition from November/December 2007. I wanted to see if I could achieve sufficient tartness using grapefruit and key limes instead of cranberries, which aren't native to Florida. In the future I may increase my limeage, but it came out pretty well for a first attempt.

As for the cookies, I made these of the potato chip variety (thanks a million to Brie le Grand Fromage!) and added chocolate chips. I wanted to dip them in chocolate, but there would be days' worth of car travel before many of these packages reached their destinations. As my Florida readers can tell you, the weather fluctuates like mad at this time of year, so I wouldn't want to risk making a melt-prone gift.

Here's what my kitchen looked like while I was making the cookies. Thought you may get a kick out of it:

Florida Citrus Marmalade

Ingredients

8 lbs. navel oranges (about 14 oranges)

2/3 of a ruby red grapefruit

6 key limes

6 c. sugar, divided

3 c. water

Directions

Zest two oranges and two limes. Remove peels from these and all other fruits. Chop the fruit and remove all seeds.

Combine chopped fruit and zest in a large saucepan with water and 2 cups of the sugar. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to medium-low and simmer 15 minutes.

Add remaining sugar. Simmer approximately an hour and a half.

Meanwhile, sanitize your canning equipment. Pre-wash all jars, lids, and bands with antibacterial dish soap and water. Fill a pot with enough water to completely submerge your jars. Bring to a boil over medium-high and place jars, lids, and bands gently in the boiling water for five minutes or more. For the last minute or so, lower the end of a pair of tongs into the boiling water. When time is up, use the sanitized tongs to remove each piece from the pot and place it on a clean towel.

Spoon jam into the jars while still hot. Wipe anything that spills over the edge with a clean damp towel. Put on the lids and secure with the bands.

Lower jars gently back into the boiling water. Boil for ten minutes, then remove carefully with the tongs and place back on the towel. (The towel is there as a buffer between the hot jar and the cold countertop, a trick I learned from Alton Brown via a recommendation from Peas Love Carrots. This helps prevent spontaneous shattering). A couple hours later, check the tops to be sure they have sealed. If the button doesn't bounce back when you push it, hooray! Your jam will keep in the same condition for about a year. This recipe makes about a dozen 8-oz jars.

I had a jar left over for myself and my husband. Before I left to visit family on Christmas Eve, I had some for breakfast over toast and melted havarti. Yum! A little too sweet, but overall... yum!

Beat the eggs. Whip the cream. Show no mercy.

Latkes at a Christmas Party

Actually, my mother considers it more of a "Winter Solstice Party." Whatever you choose to call it, it's the party she has every year when the boat parade goes by her lakefront house, and everyone stands down on the dock waving and shouting, "Merry Christmas!"

Do I have pictures of said boat parade, you might ask? Heavens no. Do I have pictures of the latkes I brought to wish everyone a Happy Whatever the Heck It Is You Celebrate? Yey-ah! (Ironically they were a little late if you celebrate Hanukkah.)

I got this recipe off the incredible blog Las Vegas Food Adventures. Yeah, I know, you're waitin' for it... "What did she change?" Well, this time, it was nothing. Nada. Not a single...

AAAAAAAUGH!! I can't take the LIES!!! I used olive oil instead of vegetable, damn it!!!!!!! Are you satisfied?????!!!!!

Well, if so, you oughtn't to be. Because they turned out looking like horrid gray blobs instead of the pristine brown beauties in the original picture. Did they taste great? Sure. Did they go over well at the party? Definitely, but only because there was such dim lighting that I didn't get any decent pics of the final product until we had them for breakfast the next morning:

Awwwwwww, yuck, gross! What is that gray blob on the plate next to my mom's beautiful fruit salad? Did someone hock a... or cough up a... oh, wait, no, that's just my dumb ass using olive oil. Okay, phew. Thought that might actually have been cat barf there for a sec.

To make it crystal clear, this was no fault at all of the original recipe's. They would have been perfect if I had followed along verbatim. But the only oil I keep on hand in large quantities is olive. So my mom's party mood lighting is practically a Christmas miracle in my opinion. It allowed me to rake in the compliments that Las Vegas Food Adventures so deserves for this tasty Jewish-inspired dish.

Happy Hanu-kwan-rama-solst-mas! (Please let me know if I'm forgetting anyone, and I will make an addendum.)

P.S. If you had to pick one type of oil to keep in your house, which would you go with?

Beat the eggs. Whip the cream. Show no mercy.

Frittata... WITH MEEEEEEEEEEEEEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you discovered my blog sometime within the past week, you may have been duped into thinking I'm a vegetarian. Not so. I'm just a pauper who gives a damn what she puts in her mouth, and if I have to sacrifice something to lower my grocery bill, meat it is. I refuse to buy the cheap stuff that comes from inhumane, unsustainable, and unhealthy factory farms.

But when my mom is charitable enough to give me a pack of nitrate-free, hormone-free Applegate Farms turkey bacon, I ain't gonna turn it down.

As a matter of fact, I may have been overzealous with it in this case:

Yup, that's for one frittata. Singular. Bearing in mind that there were two other fatty sources of protein (cheese and eggs) present as well.

But hey, how was I supposed to know turkey bacon doesn't shrink like regular bacon?

On the plus side, I think both my husband and I made ourselves sick enough off it to get through the rest of the week feeling grateful for our chickpeas and red beans.

Here's how to make the same frittata I made. If you're not a card-carrying Atkins dieter, you may want to reduce the amount of bacon. And if you're among those feeling betrayed because you thought I was always going to be here for you with meatless recipes, feel free to throw in some tofu bacon or whatever it is you folks with will power like. (Anyone still confused regarding the name of my blog, please feel free to check out this post.)

Frittata With Turkey Bacon, Watercress, Shallot, & Swiss Cheese

Ingredients

3 eggs

1 Tbsp. plain yogurt or Oikos

1 Tbsp. olive oil

1 shallot, chopped

4 strips turkey bacon, chopped

1 c. watercress, chopped

1/2 c. Swiss cheese, diced

Directions

Heat your broiler.

Beat the eggs and yogurt together in a mixing bowl. Set aside.

In a large pan or skillet with an ovenproof handle, heat the olive oil on medium. Add the shallot and saute two minutes. Add the bacon and saute two minutes more. Add the watercress and saute three to four minutes more, or until the onions are soft and translucent and the bacon is thoroughly browned.

Turn the heat down to medium-low and distribute the cheese throughout the pan.

Stir the egg mixture and pour it over the pan's contents. Tilt the pan around to distribute evenly.

Within a few minutes, you should start to see bubbles all over the frittata. At this point, tilt the pan again to check for doneness. You should be able to see a layer of cooked egg underneath the raw that comes about halfway up your fixins.

Stick the pan under the broiler for two minutes or until it has just begun to brown on top. Remove the pan and immediately plate the frittata to keep the bottom from overcooking. To do this, shove a spatula in at the edge and rotate the pan so that the frittata comes loose (you may have to dig under it a little to free it, especially in spots where there are big hunks of cheese). Position the pan low over the serving platter so that the edge is even with where you want the edge of the frittata to end up. Tilt the pan and shake it gently. When the frittata is about halfway off, you can guide it a little with your spatula to ensure that it doesn't break in half.

Voila!

Serves 4-6 as an appetizer, 2 as a main course.

My husband and I split this for dinner. The watercress shrank a lot more than I thought it was going to, so to round out the meal, we each had some roast eggplant tossed with a handful of basil and a standard Balsamic vinaigrette. This versatile dressing/sauce/marinade is so easy I could make it in my sleep without even taking that creepy medicine that makes you sleepwalk. Just whisk three parts olive oil to one part Balsamic vinegar with a dash of dijon mustard to emulsify.

Now, how is it that a pauper like me can afford fancy-schmancy produce like shallots and The Incredible Shrinking Watercress? I must be quite the hypocrite, huh? Perhaps, but not in this case. I mentioned the other day that, thanks to a tip from a reader, I discovered a great local market in the Orlando/Winter Park area called Harvill's. All the produce I bought earlier this week came from within the state of Florida... and here's the best part:

My total for enough fruit, veggies, and herbs to feed two for a week was TWELVE DOLLARS.

If that sounds pretty standard to you, bear in mind that my husband and I do not eat like normal people. There's no cereal, pretzels, salsa, jars of spaghetti sauce, etc. in our house. When we snack, we snack on fruit and peanuts the way the cavemen did it. When I make a tomato-based sauce, it's from tomatoes and herbs. And I have a salad for lunch pretty much every day. So imagine my elation to spend TWELVE DOLLARS on what normally comprises the vast majority of my grocery bill. TWELVE DOLLARS. I'm just going to keep saying it until I believe it. TWELVE DOLLARS...

On another positive note (TWELVE DOLLARS), I am exceedingly proud of how well my food photography is coming along. I have a secret, which I will reveal to you at some point in the future I'm sure. But for now, here are a few extra shots that I liked and couldn't find anywhere to include in the body of the post:

Drop by tomorrow for a stellar Chickenless Cook of the Week, and start racking your brain about what to do for the TV Dinner challenge.

TWELVE DOLLARS!!

Beat the eggs. Whip the cream. Show no mercy.

End-of-the-Week Recap: A Glitch in the Culinary Matrix, Virtual-Saturday Crepes, Oatmeal Clafouti, and Two Kreativ Blogger Awards(!!!!)

The rest of my compulsory vegetarian week was a disaster. Broccoli rabe is really, really freaking bitter if you don't treat it right. So bitter that I'm afraid I might have given my husband and myself irreversible tannic poisoning.

And check out this spoon! My New Orlasian Red Beans and Rice came out so thick that I pulled a Neo.

The only as-yet-unmentioned meal I cooked last week that I'm proud of was the Nutella Crepes With Honey and Sliced Nanners pictured below, and it wasn't my recipe. I followed Jane Brody's for Basic Crepes near-verbatim. You can find it on page 502 of Jane Brody's Good Food Book. Or not, since I've taken the liberty of reprinting it for you here.

Basic Crepes

from Jane Brody's Good Food Book

Ingredients

1 egg

Pinch salt (she says to omit it if you're making sweet crepes; of course I was like, "Whatevs!")

1/2 c. all-purpose flour

5/8 c. milk

1 tsp. sugar (omit for savory crepes)

1/4 tsp. vanilla (ditto)

2 Tbsp. melted butter, divided

Directions

Beat everything except 1 Tbsp. of butter together in a mixing bowl. Heat a small pan with sloping sides over medium-low to medium heat (not quite high enough to burn your butter). Dab some of the reserved butter on the pan and spread it around. Pour enough crepe batter in to barely cover the bottom of the pan and tilt the pan around to even it out. When you start to see bubbles in the batter, lift the edge with a spatula every ten seconds or so to see if the bottom is sufficiently browned. When it is, flip the crepe and cook about 15 seconds on the other side. Remove it from the pan and plate it (or set it on wax paper if storing). Lather, rinse, repeat. Makes 8-9 small crepes. I spread Nutella on mine, folded them in quarters, and served with sliced nanners and a drizzle of holly honey.

Do you have a favorite crepe filling or topping? Feel free to share!

Thursday was Virtual Saturday for my husband, since he took a four-day weekend. You may have noticed that I skipped Chickenless Cook yet again this week due to some out-of-townage. We were at my mom's place eating this:

Oatmeal clafouti. I am not a huge clafouti fan; most traditional recipes are too bland for my taste. These however were excellent topped with plain yogurt, applesauce, and maple syrup. My mom and I will tweak this recipe and probably share it with you later. Thanks for hosting, Chickenless Chick's Mom!

Last and certainly not least, Janis at Bite Me New England and Robin at Vegetable Matter have each bestowed upon me the unspeakable honor of a Kreativ Blogger Award! These are The Chickenless Kitchen's first awards ever. I am mega-excited and flattered to no end. Thanks, Janis and Robin!

Now, lest the Award Police come in the night and take them away from me, I have to tell you seven interesting things about myself and nominate seven other blogs for the award. Here goes.

Seven Interesting Things About The Chickenless Chick

1) The cookbook that originally hooked me was Almost Vegetarian by Diana Shaw... even though I eat red meat.

2) My favorite restaurant growing up was Chili's.

3) My favorite restaurants now are locally owned and operated. Both happen to be Mexican, though El Coqui also serves Puerto Rican food and Da Kine Diego's can more accurately be described as Cal-Mex.

4) When I was three or so, all I ate without complaint were Kraft Singles and tomatoes. If I had to pick only two foods to eat for the rest of my life, they would still be cheese and tomatoes... though I think a Kraft Single would turn me green at this point.

5) My favorite drink is gin and club soda with lime and Angostura bitters... yes, I know, I am a ninety-year-old man.

6) You know how most people either have rhythm or don't? I have it sometimes.

7) I hardly ever open my mouth in group social settings. One through five are probably all news to my closest friends.

My Nominees (in Alphabetical Order)

1) Color Hungry

2) Furey and the Feast

3) Sweet Water

4) Tasty Eats at Home

5) Tasty Trix

6) The Gourmet Goddess

7) The Ungourmet

I am a writer, so chickenless writing was my foremost consideration in choosing my nominees. Anyone can post a recipe, but these ladies (the fact that they are all ladies is sheer coincidence btw) make us feel like we're right there in the kitchen with them. Each is honest and bold, but each has her own special voice. I am delighted to follow all their blogs. Thanks to them for brightening my days!

Beat the eggs. Whip the cream. Show no mercy.

For the Fitness Buffs

Today we have our first guest recipe submission, and anyone who's ever started a new blog will be able to tell without looking who it's from.

Bingo! Mom.

I thought about calling her the Chickenless Hen or something, but "hen" sounds offensive, so it's just "Chickenless Chick's Mom" for now. Everyone say, "Thank you, Chickenless Chick's Mom."

A word of warning about this recipe... it's not for your average twenty-minutes-on-the-treadmill-with-the-AC-blasting-in-your-face-the-whole-time morning workout. It's for a chickenless workout, which consists of spending at least an hour engaged in vigorous, sweaty exercise. I cannot be held responsible for your skyrocketing cholesterol in the event that you eat this stuff under any other circumstance.

Breakfast Spaghetti

Ingredients:

Olive oil

About 1 cup leftover cooked spaghetti or rice

1 whole egg

¼ to ½ c egg whites

Soy sauce

Cider vinegar

Sprinkle of turmeric

Directions:

Whip egg and whites with about 2 tsp each of soy sauce and vinegar, sprinkle in turmeric. Use more condiments the more you are going to sweat. Experiment!

Heat pan with a little olive oil, sauté spaghetti or rice.

Pour egg mix over spaghetti, cook until set on bottom. Cut in half or quarters with your spatula and flip each portion to brown on the other side. Makes 2 large servings or 4 small – eat prior to workout and save some for second hour of [exercise]. Do not keep out in heat more than 2 hours. Needless to say the more organic the ingredients, the better.

Note: The above picture was taken of this recipe being executed in the same style as the baby quiches from my previous post; the original looks more like a big ole spaghetti pancake.

And now, surprise! A bonus Chickenless Chick's Mom Original Recipe...

Homemade Sports Drink

This came about because I was shocked that my orange Gatorade powder contained partially hydrogenated soybean oil and yellow #6. L

Ingredients:

Per 24 oz insulated bottle:

¾ to 1 cup orange or pineapple juice

(The juice contains the potassium and sugars you need for cramp control and energy - experiment with how strong you need your drink.)

1/8 tsp sea salt

(1/8 tsp salt per hour works for me when it’s hot out. Be chickenless! Experiment with proportions.)

1 tsp organic vinegar

1 tsp lemon

1 tsp honey

Directions:

Fill with ice and water. Shake REALLY well. Saving a mouthful of salt for last sip is NOT yummy.

Beat the eggs. Whip the cream. Show no mercy.