Ubergrun Chili

One thing I love about the German language (and subsequently the English language, though we don't do it nearly so much these days) is that new words are incorporated all the time just by smashing some together that already exist. Here I've used the adjective "ubergrun" to mean "intensely green," referring to the fact that five out of the seven whole food ingredients in this chili are of that persuasion.

While fighting off the cat in order to lick my bowl clean, I was uberpissed to learn from my husband- the Orlando Weekly's calendar editor and social butterfly extraordinaire- that there will be a chili cook-off this weekend. Why pissed? Because just when I finally invent a chili I'm proud of, and just when a chili cook-off finally happens in my neck of the woods... we won't be in town. On Friday, we hop a plane to Colorado and pay an off-season visit to some of the farms at which we've applied to intern. (That, or sit around in the airport all weekend waiting for a plane that's been delayed by an uberblizzard up in Denver.)

Joking aside, I'm ecstatic about this trip! If you'd like to read about the places we'll be touring, please pop on over to Doveland Farm and peruse some of my husband's recent posts.

I know, I know... enough with the blog plugging already. Bring on the uberdelicious chili recipe!

Ubergrun, Uberdelicious, Geez-I'd-Better-Stop-Saying-Uber-Before-I-Offend-a-Real-German Chili

Ingredients

2 Tbsp. olive oil

1 yellow onion, diced large

1 stalk celery, sliced

1 Anaheim chile pepper, diced small

2 large cloves of garlic (or 3-4 non-ubercloves as pictured... gah, there's just so many appropriate places to say uber!), chopped

3 tsp. dried cumin

1 3/4 c. broccoli florets

1/2 c. cilantro leaves, chopped

Salt 'n' pepper to taste

1 1/4 c. black beans, cooked

2 Tbsp. sherry vinegar

3 medium to large green tomatoes, diced (approximately... I used two big ones from the farmer's market and five little ones my mom gave me from her garden)

2 tsp. orange blossom honey

Directions

Heat the olive oil in a large saucepan on medium-high. Add the onion, celery, chile, garlic, and cumin. Saute 2 minutes.

Add the broccoli florets and saute a few minutes more, until the onion is translucent and the broccoli is tender.

Add the cilantro, salt, and pepper; seasoning to your preference as if you intend to eat it as is. (Yes, there are still some ingredients to add, but when the water contained in the vegetables evaporates, you will be left with perfectly salted chili). Saute one minute more, then stir in the black beans.

Pour in the sherry vinegar and deglaze the pan.

Stir in the tomatoes, reduce the heat to medium-low, and cover the pan. Simmer 40 minutes. Add the honey and taste one more time to see if you need any more salt. Simmer, covered, 10 minutes more. Serves 3-4 (number of servings can be augmented to a solid 4 if you ladle it over rice, potatoes, cornbread, meat, etc.)

Don't get me wrong, the flavor of this chili was amazing; but in case you hadn't noticed, it's quite mild. I got an ubercramp in my wrist from shaking hot sauce into my portion. If I were to enter it in the cook-off, I would add a couple jalapenos for heat.

Okay, gonna stop saying uber now...

Dang, just said it again.

Okay... NOW!

Addendum: Huh, looking back on this, I'm not sure what all I'm counting as a "whole food" ingredient here... I didn't count my black beans because they came from a can, but there were no salt or preservatives added, so... meh? What do you guys count as whole food?

Beat the eggs. Whip the cream. Show no mercy.

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Renaissance Cook Challenge: A Three-Course Meal Inspired by Three Dynamite Ladies

Last night I completed my own entry for the Renaissance Cook Challenge. I had originally planned to base each course of the meal on a cherished piece from my own wardrobe, but then thought hey, why not spread a little love and plug some dynamite style bloggers instead?

The appetizer course was based on this post by Jessica Schroeder of What I Wore. Jessica's style appeals to me because, well... she IS me. She's in her mid-twenties (check), loves vintage clothing (check), believes that personal style should not be wholly governed by trends (check- check), and believes that one need not be uber-wealthy to be uber-classy (check-check-double-check). She suggested I invent "something spicy" based on the outfit pictured. I was happy to oblige, as it's one of my favorite combos of hers.

Roasted Tomato Salsa

Inspired by Jessica Schroeder

Ingredients

1 large tomato, cut in half

2 thick slices of onion

Salt, black pepper, and dried cayenne pepper to taste

1 head garlic

2 Tbsp. olive oil

Juice of 1/2 a lime

1/2 c. cilantro leaves

Splash sherry vinegar

Directions

Heat the oven to 425.

Season the tomato halves and onion slices with salt, pepper, and cayenne. Peel the outer layer of skin from the garlic, leaving the cloves attached to the head. Arrange the tomato, onion, and garlic in a roasting pan and drizzle the olive oil over. Roast 30 minutes.

Remove pan from oven and allow to cool. Transfer the tomato and onion to a food processor or paddle blender. Add the pulp from the garlic cloves, discarding the skin. Add the lime juice, cilantro, and vinegar.

Pulse on medium speed about 3-5 times, or until the salsa has reached its desired chunkiness. Scrape the salsa into a container with a lid, seal tightly, and chill. I made mine a day in advance so that the flavors would have plenty of time to get to know one another, but a couple hours' chilling time would suffice. Serves 6-8 as an appetizer.

My entree took its color cues from this "costume of the day" posted by Kelly Framel, aka The Glamourai. When she's not working her day job as a stylist, Kelly breathes new life into vintage jewelry, which you can find for sale at Shrimpton Couture and The Glamporium. She did not have any special requests as far as what dish I made in honor of her, so I picked an outfit I loved and carried on with the Southwest-ish culinary theme.

Pork Loin Spirals With Corn and Black Beans

Inspired by Kelly Framel

Ingredients

1 c. black beans, cooked

1 c. corn, fresh shucked or thawed frozen

1/4 c. olive oil, plus extra to baste

2 Tbsp. sherry vinegar, plus extra to de-glaze

1 Tbsp. cumin

1 tsp. dijon mustard

1/4 tsp. salt, plus extra to season the meat

1/4 tsp. pepper, plus extra to season the meat

6 large garlic cloves, minced

Zest of 2 lemons, grated or minced

Juice of 1/2 lemon

4 inches fresh ginger, grated

2 pork tenderloin fillets, weighing about 1 1/4 lbs each

1/2 c. Manchego cheese, diced small

Directions

Mix all ingredients except the pork loin and Manchego in a container with a lid. Store in the fridge to marinate for 8-48 hours, stirring periodically.

Around the same time you assemble the filling, cut into each pork loin lengthwise. Stop at least 1/4" short of cutting it in half. Make another incision from the center moving outward. Again, do not cut all the way through. Unfold. Each loin should now be about 4 times its original width.

Spread the meat on a hearty surface that can take a good pounding. Cover it in plastic wrap and bang it with a mallet until it's good and flat. Season with salt and pepper. Store in the fridge until ready to cook.

Heat the oven to 400.

Saute the marinated filling over medium heat until the garlic grows soft and flavors the other components. Deglaze with additional sherry vinegar if necessary. This will take about 5-7 minutes, but if you were a chickenless cook, you would taste as you go ;)

Spread the pork flat in an oiled baking pan. Allow the filling to cool a few minutes, then divide it evenly between the two fillets and spread it over, leaving a border of 3/4" to 1". Sprinkle on the cheese. Roll the loins up lengthwise and secure with 6 or more pieces of kitchen twine each. Baste each loin with a bit of olive oil. Roast about 1 hour. Remove the twine and cut into rounds from top to bottom. Serves 6-8.

Dessert was inspired by this frock posted by Fleur de Guerre of Diary of a Vintage Girl. She, like Kelly, gave me free reign to choose from her oodles of fabulous photos. I imagine this one wouldn't have been her first pick; she's a self-described "part-time pinup girl and full-time Forties enthusiast," and this look is more 50s. But I'm sure she'll approve of the azure after-dinner cocktails I served in her honor.

Blue Hawaiian Pina Coladas

Inspired by Fleur de Guerre

Ingredients (Alcoholic Version)

4 oz. rum

2 oz. blue curacao

6 oz. unsweetened coconut milk

1 c. fresh pineapple chunks

1 1/2 Tbsp. sugar or simple syrup

10 ice cubes

Ingredients (Kid-Friendly Version)

6 oz. whole milk

6 oz. unsweetened coconut milk

1 c. fresh pineapple chunks

2 Tbsp. sugar or simple syrup

A few drops blue food coloring

10 ice cubes

Directions

Place all ingredients in a blender and run on high until smooth. Serves 4 (or 2 double-tall as pictured).

Thanks to everyone who participated in this challenge! If you haven't participated yet and you live on my side of the globe, it's not too late. Your time isn't up until the day is over...

Beat the eggs. Whip the cream. Show no mercy.

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Got Leftover Kumquats?

If not, that's all right- this recipe begs for substitutions. Try using different types of onions, different types of rice, a different lager, fennel in place of celery, or orange slices with their juice in place of kumquats with their poaching liquid.

Sweet 'n' Sour Lentil Stew With Poached Kumquats

Ingredients

2 Tbsp. olive oil

1 onion, diced large

2 cloves garlic, sliced

2 carrots, sliced

1 stalk celery, sliced

2 tsp. cumin

1 tsp. cinnamon

1/4 tsp. black pepper

Dried cayenne pepper to taste

1/2 c. fresh cilantro leaves, chopped

1 tsp. salt, divided

2 1/2 c. vegetable broth

1/2 c. Yuengling Lager

1 c. preserved tomatoes, diced (I really have got to get Pomi to advertise with me)

2 tsp. tomato paste

3/4 c. lentils, cooked

3/4 c. rice, cooked

1/2 of a poblano pepper; roasted, peeled, and chopped

1 c. poached kumquats

2 Tbsp. kumquat poaching liquid

Juice of 1/4 lemon

Directions

In a stew pot, heat the olive oil over medium-high. Add the onion, garlic, carrots, celery, cumin, cinnamon, black pepper, and cayenne pepper. Saute until the onions are translucent, about five minutes.

Add the cilantro and 1/2 tsp. of the salt. Saute one minute more.

Add the broth, beer, preserved tomatoes, and tomato paste. De-glaze the pot. Bring contents to a boil, then reduce heat and let simmer over medium-low for 15 minutes.

Add the lentils, rice, poblano pepper, kumquats, poaching liquid, and remaining salt. Simmer 15 minutes more. Remove from heat and stir in the lemon juice. Serves 4.

Beat the eggs. Whip the cream. Show no mercy.

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Kumquat Shortcake

Last night, friends treated my husband and me to a smashing roast chicken dinner (thanks again, Paul and Alice!) I volunteered to bring dessert. In recent weeks, I've had a hankering for something fruity and chile-influenced, which led me to poach these kumquats with a poblano pepper and serve them over a Sara Lee pound cake.

Oh, all right, you caught me.

The Sara Lee pound cake was a last-minute save. Anti-corporate control freak that I am, I made a batch of biscuits; but for some reason they came out tasting like bitterness incarnate. Will have to play around with that recipe for a bit and post it at a later date.

These kumquats, on the other hand, are to die for. Their tart-and-sweet flavor meshed excellently with the cinnamon, cloves, and chile.

Poached Kumquats With Poblano

Ingredients

2 pints kumquats

1/2 a poblano pepper

2 c. water

2/3 c. orange blossom honey

2/3 c. granulated sugar

3/4 tsp. cinnamon

1/8 tsp. ground cloves

Directions

Heat your broiler to the highest setting. Meanwhile, cut the kumquats into thirds horizontally (yes, you have to de-seed them, which is a pain; but it's not necessary to peel them.)

Place the pepper skin-side-up on an oiled baking sheet. Broil about five minutes, or until the skin is wrinkly and partially black on top. Remove and let cool. Peel off the skin.

Combine the water, honey, sugar, cinnamon, and cloves in a medium saucepan and bring to a boil. Add the kumquats and poblano, then reduce heat to medium-low. Simmer 20 minutes.

Remove the pan from the heat and let cool. Fish out the poblano, drain so that the poaching liquid runs back into the pan, and chop. Store the chopped poblano in a small container with a couple spoonfuls of poaching liquid to cover. Store the kumquats separately in the rest of the liquid. To serve, spoon the kumquats over any of the following (or something else that I haven't thought of):

Ice Cream

Cake

Biscuits

Sweet Cornbread

Corn Pudding

Bread Pudding

Fruit Salad

Pancakes

Crepes

Waffles

Cookies

Garnish with the chopped poblano. (Optional: Beat 2 Tbsp. of poaching liquid from the kumquats with 1 c. heavy whipping cream.) Serves 4-5.

Beat the eggs. Whip the cream. Show no mercy.

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The Melting Pot Method

You may have heard of the Clean Out Your Fridge Method: Take all the ingredients you have that are on their last legs and dump them into an egg-based dish.

The Melting Pot Method is a little different. While it can have the side benefit of cleaning out your fridge, the primary focus is getting foods that you associate with varying cultures to jive. This does not necessarily mean you need exotic imported ingredients; for instance, the pineapple in this recipe that I chose to associate with Hawaiian culture was locally grown here in Florida.

What process can you use to employ the Melting Pot Method in your kitchen?

Step #1

Choose from the variety of existent egg-based dishes. These include quiches, omelettes, frittatas, tortillas, skillets/scrambles, souffles... the list goes on. For this recipe, I started with the idea of making my egg-based dish a tortilla, which is Spanish in origin.

Step #2

Pick another region and choose two ingredients that could be associated with that region's cuisine. They don't have to be exclusive; for instance, I could associate "eggplant and onions" with pretty much anywhere bordering the Mediterranean.

Step #3... Here's the trick:

After you've come up with two ingredients other than eggs and the culture they represent in your recipe, put a twist on one of them. I chose a pig-and-pineapple combo that I associate with Hawaiian cuisine; but for my pig, I used Genoa salami rather than the traditional spit-roasted pork or... well, Spam. Going back to the eggplant-and-onion idea, let's say you choose to associate that with Italy. But if you use scallions instead of white onions, suddenly it's no longer strictly Italian-influenced. Get the idea?

Step #4

Add a coupla-few more ingredients based on the cultures you already have. At this juncture I added potatoes and onions, both of which appear frequently in traditional Spanish tortillas; and Parmesan cheese (Italian).

Step #5

Think of two more cultures that you haven't incorporated so far. My next idea was to add extra eggs for a thicker layer, bringing to mind a crustless version of the French quiche even as I steadfastly refused to call it a crustless quiche. And finally I threw in some pepper jack cheese to honor the good old U.S. of A.

See? Nothing to it. All you need are some good free association skills and enough self-respect to stay your hand when you're about to come up with something school-cafeteria-esque.

The Chickenless Chick's Melting Pot Tortilla

Ingredients

5 eggs

1/3 c. pepper jack cheese, cubed

1/4 c. Parmesan cheese, grated

1/4 c. water

6 slices cold cut Genoa salami, shredded

1 Tbsp. olive oil

1/2 white onion, sliced thin

1 russet potato, sliced thin

1 tsp. dried thyme leaves

1/2 c. pineapple, chopped

1/2 c. fresh cilantro leaves, chopped

Salt 'n' pepper to taste

Instructions

Heat the oven to 375.

Beat the eggs, cheeses, water, and salami together in a large mixing bowl. Set aside.

Heat the oil in a saute pan over medium high. Add the onions and saute two minutes. Add the potatoes and thyme leaves. Saute until the potatoes are soft, but not falling apart.

Add the pineapple, cilantro, salt, and pepper to the pan. Saute one minute more.

Add the contents of the pan to the egg mixture and stir well to incorporate. Pour into a greased 9" pie tin.

Bake at 375 for thirty minutes or until barely browned on top. Serves 6.

Beat the eggs. Whip the cream. Show no mercy.

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Pineapple Crisp With Lentil Cookie Topping

I admit it: I've led you astray. Turns out those lentil cookies I told you about don't store well at all. The lentils in mine dried out forty-eight hours after they left the oven, and I imagine that in drier climates (read: anywhere but Florida) their lifespan would be even shorter.

I advise that you either make these treats in small batches only or have some other use in mind. Since crisp topping is supposed to be crunchy anyway, I opted to crumble up my dried-out cookies, sprinkle them over a pan of juicy seasonal fruit, and bake. Dessert doesn't get any easier or tastier than this.

Pineapple Crisp

Ingredients

1 1/2 pineapples, cut into chunks

1 Tbsp. flour

8-10 lentil cookies, crumbled

Directions

Heat the oven to 375.

Mix the pineapple chunks and flour. Put them in a 10" pie pan (bet you're jealous of the adorable one that my mom got me for Christmas).

Bake the pineapple chunks on their own for 20 minutes. Remove from the oven and sprinkle the cookie topping over. Bake until sufficiently browned on top, about 20-30 minutes more. If the topping browns too much before the pineapple is soft, cover with a sheet of foil for the remainder of the cooking time. Serves 6.

I attempted to make pineapple whipped cream, but it came out tasting an awful lot like regular whipped cream. In case you want to play around with the recipe, here it is. By all means, please contact me if you find a better way!

Pineapple Whipped Cream

Ingredients

3/4 c. heavy whipping cream

2 Tbsp. pineapple juice

1 Tbsp. sugar

Directions

Whisk or beat all ingredients with an electric mixer until stiff. Makes about 1 1/2 c. whipped cream.

Beat the eggs. Whip the cream. Show no mercy.

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Curry Spiced Lentil Salad With Coconut

I'm calling this Kelly and Casey's Salad, in honor of my good friends who would hate it. Kelly hates peas, Casey hates curry, and I can't imagine I got through composing the rest of the ingredients list without stepping on their picky toes.

Kelly and Casey's Salad

Ingredients

5 carrots, peeled and sliced

3 large boiling potatoes, parboiled and diced large

2/3 c. lentils, cooked until just tender

2/3 c. split peas, cooked cooked until just tender

2/3 c. black olives, chopped

1/3 c. olive oil

Juice of 1/2 a lemon

2 cloves garlic, pressed or minced

1 inch piece of fresh ginger, grated

2 tsp. dried cumin

1/2 tsp. salt

1/2 tsp. dried turmeric

1/2 tsp. dried coriander

1/4 tsp. dried cardamom

Dried cayenne to taste

1/2 c. chopped fresh cilantro

1/2 c. sweetened coconut flakes

Directions

Mix the carrots, potatoes, lentils, peas, and olives in a large container with a tight-fitting lid.

In a separate bowl, combine all remaining ingredients except for the coconut flakes and whisk together.

Pour the dressing over the salad contents, stir well, and seal the container. Let it marinate in the fridge at least 4 hours (an eight-hour work day is ideal). Thirty minutes before serving, add the coconut flakes and stir again, then leave the container on the counter until its contents are at room temperature. Serves 6-8 as an appetizer or light meal.

I served this salad with homemade pita chips and extra lemon wedges.

As always, I encourage you to play around with the recipe. For a creamy dressing, try adding plain yogurt or coconut milk. If you dislike the taste or texture of coconut, try subbing golden raisins, dates, or apples (fresh or dried).

Beat the eggs. Whip the cream. Show no mercy.

Tiger Potatoes

They were going to be called "Zebra Potatoes" before I ran a Google search to see if anyone else had coined the term. Turns out "Zebra chip" is slang for a pathogen that makes potato chips come out all brown-streaked and weird looking. I opted not to willingly associate a potato-based side dish I'd made with a potato-attacking pathogen. Seemed like it would be both bad luck and a little gross.

You may have run across these Ze... ahem... Tiger Potatoes before. You may even have invented something similar yourself. They're very simple to make, and if anyone in your family prefers white potatoes to sweet, this is a great way to pump a few more vitamins into said heretic.

All you need are a russet potato, a sweet potato, and seasoning/garnish of choice to serve two.

Step #1

Peel your potatoes and cut wedges into the tops, leaving at least 1/4" of flesh in tact along the bottom. Reserve the wedges.

Step #2

Insert wedges into the potato of the opposite color as shown. If they don't quite fit, you can opt to trim them down or widen the crevices.

Step #3

Wrap each potato securely in a paper towel and place right-side-up in your microwave. Microwave on high for three minutes.

Step #4

Let cool a little bit before attempting to remove the paper towel, but don't wait too long or it will stick. Serve them up however you're inclined. I butterflied mine and added butter, salt, pepper, nutmeg, and a bit of fresh dill.

Have you ever made Tiger Potatoes? I imagine I'm not the first, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. The only thing missing from mine was big dollops of sour cream. Wish I'd had some in the house.

Beat the eggs. Whip the cream. Show no mercy.

Chicken Thighs Stewed With Radish and Arugula

I have often wondered what stewed radish would taste like. A couple days before Christmas, I finally got around to it. Looking back, this recipe probably would have tasted better with white meat, but dark did the job.

Actually, "did the job" may not be the right phrase. My husband flipped out and said it was one of his favorite dishes I've ever made.

Now before you go adding radishes and arugula to all your stews, I doubt I have them to thank for the meal's success. Neither one tasted like much once it had been simmering for awhile. More likely I owe a debt of gratitude to my old humble friend garlic. I used more than my usual 2-3 cloves, which is something I'd definitely do again.

Chicken Thighs Stewed With Radish and Arugula

Ingredients

4 chicken thighs with skin

Salt and pepper to taste

2 Tbsp. olive oil

1 onion, sliced thin or diced large

1 c. radishes, sliced

1 carrot, sliced

5 cloves garlic, sliced thin

Splash Balsamic vinegar

1 Tbsp. fresh mixed herbs (I used flat-leaf parsley and oregano, but any herbs you might associate with traditional Southern Italian cuisine would do the trick)

2 tsp. dried mix herbs (I used marjoram, thyme, and more oregano... note that you can use more fresh herbs here instead; I just ran out)

Salt and pepper to taste

1 c. diced canned/packaged tomatoes (say it with me... "If you don't can your own, I recommend Pomi")

2 c. chicken broth

2 c. well-packed arugula

1 Tbsp. lemon juice

Directions

Season the meat with salt and pepper. Loosen the skin and get underneath if you can do this without ripping it.

Heat the olive oil in a stew pot over medium. Brown the chicken thighs for 10-12 minutes on the skin side; 5 minutes on the skinless side. Remove the chicken from the pot and place it in a covered dish. Alternatively, plate it and cover it with another plate to trap the heat. (Optional: Bellow, "Bwah-ha-ha-ha, heat, there's no escape for you now!")

Add the onion, radishes, carrot, and garlic to the pot and saute for 4-5 minutes. Splash on the vinegar and deglaze the pan. Add the herbs, salt, and pepper and continue sauteing until the onion is completely limp and translucent.

Arrange the chicken thighs over the veggies in the pot.

In a separate saucepan, combine the tomatoes and the broth. Stir well, then pour the mixture over the chicken and veggies. Bring the contents of the pot to a boil, then reduce the heat to medium-low. Cover and simmer 45 minutes.

Remove cover and add arugula and lemon juice. Push the arugula down into the liquid-filled spaces between the chicken using a long utensil such as a wooden spoon or a spatula. Re-cover and simmer 15 minutes more. Distribute the chicken pieces among four serving bowls and ladle the liquid over. Optional: Put bread, rice, or mashed potatoes in the bottoms of the bowls; or prepare a warm bread basket to pass around. Serves 4.

Beat the eggs. Whip the cream. Show no mercy.

Bruschette Three Ways

My mom gave us some lovely garden-fresh produce to bring home following her boat parade party. You don't see tomatoes on this blog too often unless they've been pulverized into a sauce or soup, and the reason for that is because my husband is an extraterrestrial of some kind and dislikes un-pulverized tomatoes. But this time, I couldn't resist leaving them in their original un-pulverized form. I mean, look at them! Aren't they gorgeous?

They're not gorgeous? How can you say something like... Oh, you must be looking at the weird excuse for an eggplant that she so cleverly sneaked into my doggie bag. (Just kidding, I agreed to take it. There will always be a special place in my heart for misshapen orphaned vegetables that nobody loves!)

Other gifted items included dinner rolls and a chocolate bell pepper. I had herbs and cheese in the house, so my mind jumped straight to bruschette. But because of my husband's tomato handicap, I decided to make two different kinds. And because there were two types of rolls, I ultimately ended up with three different kinds.

I won't bore you with recipes, since I made them all the same way, and there was only slight variation among the ingredients. While pre-roasting the eggplant and bell pepper, I sliced all the dinner rolls (some white, some pumpernickel) thinly and sprinkled on some grated cheese. I used parm for the white ones, mild cheddar for the pumpernickel ones; but I imagine you could do this with an infinite number of different cheeses. Then I used the vegetables and herbs in varying combos and popped each batch into the toaster oven at 350 for five minutes.

Long story short, I ended up with the following combos:

1. White bread, parm, roasted eggplant, roasted bell pepper, herbs

2. White bread, parm, chopped tomatoes, herbs

3. Pumpernickel bread, mild cheddar, roasted eggplant, roasted bell pepper

I tossed the eggplant and bell pepper with olive oil, salt, and black pepper before roasting. In fact, the first bite of eggplant I got was covered in black pepper, and the way my mouth recoiled I thought it might be tannic. After I had chewed a split second longer, I realized this wasn't the case, but I still thought the eggplant might have bred with a hot pepper or something. Eggplants and peppers are in the same family, so considering how ugly the the little guy was before cooking, you can see how I might have jumped to this conclusion. I even went so far as to call my mom and ask if that could have happened, like if she'd planted the eggplants and hot peppers next to one another or something. It took me until my next bite to learn that I just hadn't stirred well enough.

In any case, the rest of the roasted veggies were very enjoyable, if a bit lacking in the black pepper department. My husband and I ate our bruschette with green salads, which made for a welcomed light lunch after a night of stuffing ourselves at the boat parade party.

Off to Harvill's! Got a lot of work to do in the kitchen before a string of Christmases is to commence. I'm grateful to have so many loving family members within a couple hours' drive, but I am able neither to host nor to buy gifts for everyone this year, which means I must contribute a mutant amount of cooking, baking, and canning instead.

Hope to find time to post again soon. After the holidays, stuff should pretty much go back to normal. This means you'll start seeing Chickenless Cooks of the Week again. What interactive activities would you enjoy? Do you guys want to do another TV Dinner or Baffling Ingredient? Would you like to see something new? Let me know!

Beat the eggs. Whip the cream. Show no mercy.

Fun With Thanksgiving Side Dishes

My husband was on a roll this week. Thanksgiving is the one holiday a year that he uses a kitchen for anything other than cooking Ramen noodles. Specifically, he makes his mother's cranberry relish, which is the awesomest four-ingredient dish I know of. But this November he outdid himself. Not only did he cook macaroni on our recent camp-out, he also dreamed up an Asian-inspired peanut stuffing for Thanksgiving dinner. Needless to say the logistics were left to me. But I will allow that the cooking demons must have possessed him this past week. When we showed up on our host's doorstep last night, we carried both The Chickenless Chick's Mother-in-Law's Cranberry Relish and a brand spankin' new 5 Spice Peanut Stuffing (not to mention some farm-fresh broccoli rabe courtesy of Green Flamingo).

The Chickenless Chick's Mother-in-Law's Cranberry Relish

Ingredients

4 c. fresh cranberries

2 c. granulated sugar

1 navel orange (skin and all!), diced large

2 Tbsp. Grand Marnier

Directions

Combine all ingredients in a food processor or paddle blender and process until you achieve a relish-y consistency. Serves 12.

5 Spice Peanut Stuffing

Ingredients

2 Tbsp. vegetable oil

1 1/2 c. shredded Napa cabbage

1 carrot, chopped

3/4 c. chopped scallions

3 slices day-old bread cut into 1/8's

1 c. pre-roasted unsalted peanuts, chopped roughly

1/4 c. dark sesame oil

1/4 c. soy sauce

1 Tbsp. peanut butter

2 tsp. rice vinegar

1 tsp. Chinese 5 spice powder

1 Tbsp. brown sugar

1 c. veggie broth

3/4 c. cooked brown rice

Directions

Heat the oven to 350.

In a wok or other saute pan with high sloping sides, heat the vegetable oil over medium-high. Add the cabbage, carrots, and scallions. Saute 2 minutes. Add a quick dash of the soy sauce and continue sauteing until soft, another 3-4 minutes. Set aside.

Spread the bread squares out in a single layer on a baking sheet and bake at 350 for a very, very short amount of time (start checking after three minutes). They're done when they're crisp but not quite brown. Combine them with the peanuts in a large mixing bowl. Turn the oven up to 375.

Once the vegetables have cooled, combine them with the bread and peanuts.

In a small bowl, whisk the sesame oil, soy sauce, peanut butter, vinegar, spice powder, and brown sugar. Stir this sauce into the bread, peanuts, and veggies. Transfer the mixture to an ovenproof casserole dish. Pour the veggie broth down the sides so that it distributes itself evenly throughout the dish. Bake at 375 for 70 minutes, stirring every 10 minutes after the 40 minute mark. Remove from the oven and combine with the rice. Serves 8.

Spicy Grand Marnier Rabe

Ingredients

8-10 large leaves broccoli rabe, roughly chopped

2 Tbsp. butter

2 Tbsp. olive oil

1 shallot, chopped or sliced thin

Juice and zest of 1/2 a lemon

Juice and zest of 1/2 an orange

1/2 of a fresh chile pepper, de-seeded and chopped

Salt 'n' pepper

1/4 c. dried cranberries

1 Tbsp. Grand Marnier

1/4 c. veggie broth

1 tsp. orange blossom honey

1/4 c. almond slivers

Directions

Blanch the broccoli rabe in salted boiling water.

Heat the butter and olive oil in a saute pan over medium heat. Add the shallot, lemon zest, orange zest, chile pepper, and salt 'n' pepper to taste. Saute about 5 minutes, then add the blanched rabe and cranberries. Saute about 5 minutes. Add salt 'n' pepper to taste. Saute a couple minutes more (until you feel that you could comfortably eat it). Add Grand Marnier and veggie broth. Saute until the liquid has evaporated. Remove from heat. Stir in the honey and almond slivers. Serves 8.

Hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving!

Beat the eggs. Whip the cream. Show no mercy.