Nutella and Lemon Curd Sandwich Cookies

I know it's not very chickenless of me to share two recipes from the same cookbook in one month. Believe me, I was just going to do Cook of the Week and post this sometime down the road.

As I write this, there's a gunman on the loose within a few blocks of my house. As of fifteen minutes ago, they had no suspects and were still attempting to secure the office building where it happened. I'm sure you'll all read about this in the news later, and by then what I just told you will be out of date. But right now, I'm scared and confused. What the hell is going on? First Fort Hood, now this... What's wrong with the world? If that sicko is prowling my neighborhood right now, looking for a place to lie low, if he just busts into my house right now, I WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT WAS GOING THROUGH HIS HEAD. I may never know anyway. We may never be able to point to it. They may never prove that it's hormones in the water supply, or an undercurrent of political resentment on all sides that's finally built its way to this, or ANY ONE THING. As a human being, that makes me nervous. Human beings like to know things. They like to dissect incidents, to overcome hurdles. Puzzles with no answers are the essence of Jung's Shadow.

So if I'm so nervous, what am I doing here at my laptop, sitting on the floor so my head is below all the windows, writing about cookies? Because I may not know how to solve the tragedies of the world, but I do know cookies. Especially these cookies. I've baked them many times, and their sweet buttery perfection never fails to distract me. So at least for the short time that I'm blogging about them, I'll be the boss. Not some nutcase wandering around town with a gun. ME. I'm in charge.

And I say we're baking cookies, damn it.

We're baking Grandma Sylvia's Salt Butter Cookies on page 188 of America's Best Lost Recipes:

But we're baking them the Chickenless Kitchen way, which means that instead of the chocolate filling they tell you to use, we're using Nutella and lemon curd. And because there is currently no whiskey in the Chickenless Kitchen, we're using lemon juice instead.

Nutella and Lemon Curd Sandwich Cookies

Ingredients

2 large egg yolks

1 tsp. vanilla extract

1 tsp. lemon juice

2 sticks salted butter, softened; or 2 sticks unsalted butter plus 1/2 tsp. salt

2/3 c. granulated sugar

2 1/4 c. all-purpose flour

2 Tbsp. each Nutella and lemon curd

Directions

Heat the oven to 350.

Beat the yolks, vanilla, lemon juice, butter, and sugar in a mixing bowl.

Incorporate the flour (and salt if using).

Roll bits of dough between your palms to make balls about 3/4" across. Place on an ungreased cookie sheet and bake at 350 for 10-12 minutes. You should end up with about 36 small cookie halves. Let these cool completely (both Nutella and lemon curd are lousy to work with at high temperatures).

Once the cookies have cooled, separate them into two groups of the same number. Spread a paper-thin layer of Nutella on one group, lemon curd on the other. Take one of each (it helps if they're approximately the same size) and marry them. Press firmly, or else the lemon curd side will slide off. Makes 1 1/2 dozen sandwich cookies. Store in the refrigerator.

Just checked the news again. Apparently they have ID'd the suspect, an ex-employee who was fired last year for "performance issues." They're saying it's too soon to pinpoint that as a motivation.

They haven't physically caught him, at least not as of three minutes ago. I can hear the noise of the police helicopters over my house starting to fade. Maybe that's a good sign. Just going to have to wait and see. In the meantime my heart goes out to the victims and their families, those poor people who can't just look at pictures of cookies and make this go away.

Beat the eggs. Whip the cream. Show no mercy.

Spicy Ginger Brownies

I was trying to get through this without cropping any photos because I like them all the same size. But I realized the photos in my Jim Victor feature were all different sizes, so what the hell. I also realized you would be much more receptive if I didn't showcase my messy table.

What you do want me to showcase is this brownie. And then you want me to pack it up and mail it to you. And then you want to devour it. And then, as a token of gratitude, you want to send me your first-born child. Because no other form of payment will do. Oh no, not in this case.

See? I didn't even remember to take a picture first, I was so eager to cut into them:

Okay, I'm exaggerating. They could be better. But they have more potential than any other dessert I've ever invented, so I am pleased with myself on that front. I love the texture and the combination of flavors.

Specific ways in which they might be improved:

1) Toppings!! Doesn't that little guy wook so wonewy up there on his wittle napkin? Who's a wonewy bwownie? Yes, you are! Yes, you are! I was thinking candied ginger or some kind of frosting... Ideas? Lay 'em on me.

2) Not quite spicy enough for my taste. I bite into one, and for a couple seconds it tantalizes me with the idea of biting back. Then it decides, "Nah, never mind. I'm just a regular ol' brownie after all." So I wasn't chickenless enough with the spices. Need to pull an Elzar and kick it up a notch. If you duplicate this at home, I would recommend increasing the ratio of ginger and/or cayenne.

3) Spiced goodies are well-loved for their robust, "Here I am!"-sung-out-in-a-deep-baritone-voice flavor. This dessert was borderline, practically a tenor. Which is okay, just not what a guest might expect when you tell them you're serving Spicy Ginger Something-or-Other. In the future, I may sub dark brown sugar or molasses for some of the sweeteners. (Yes, I know... molasses and chocolate? Phone a priest!)

Spicy Ginger Brownies

Ingredients

1 1/2 sticks unsalted butter (wait for it... wait for it...)

2/3 c. light brown sugar

2/3 c. granulated sugar

1/4 c. holly honey

2 eggs

3 Tbsp. water

1 1/3 c. all-purpose flour

3/4 c. cocoa powder

1/2 tsp. salt (...aw yeah, there it is!)

1/2 tsp. baking powder

1/4 tsp. cinnamon

1/4 tsp. ground ginger

1/8 tsp. ground cloves

1/8 tsp. nutmeg

1/8 tsp. dried cayenne pepper

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350.

Beat the butter, sugars, honey, eggs, and water together with an electric mixer.

In a separate bowl, stir the remaining ingredients together. Add this to the wet ingredients and beat again.

Pour batter into a greased 13"X9" pan. Bake 20-25 minutes, depending on whether you like your brownies fudgey or cakey. Makes 2 dozen.

Then all you have to do is lick your beaters, and you're done! Ta-da!

I adapted this recipe from one for "Chewy Cocoa Brownies" on the back of the Nestle cocoa powder box, though it's pretty unrecognizable at this point. In fact, this is the furthest I've ever successfully flown from the coop as far as baking goes. Think I am starting to get the hang of it (she says as her next attempt blows up the oven probably).

Hope everyone is having a great week!

Beat the eggs. Whip the cream. Show no mercy.